There’s a phrase that’s been sitting quietly in my heart for weeks now:
“Let them.”
Let them leave.
Let them choose someone else.
Let them scroll past your message.
Let them misunderstand you.
Let them not get it.
And the more I let those two words echo in the spaces where I used to over-explain, chase, or fix, the more peace I found.
How It All Started: The Book That Hit Me Right in the Heart
I recently came across a book called The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins, and it felt like a mirror I didn’t know I needed.
It wasn’t long, but it was loud in the quietest way.
Mel talks about something so simple yet life-altering: instead of trying to control or correct other people’s behavior, we just… let them.
Let them disappoint you.
Let them not show up.
Let them reveal who they truly are.
And from there, you decide what’s worth your time, your energy, and your heart.
Reading the book gave me language for what I’ve been unlearning these past few years, and the podcast episode that came from it practically wrote itself.
What is the Let Them Theory?
The Let Them Theory isn’t about being cold or indifferent.
It’s about releasing control and reclaiming your emotional energy.
It’s not about pretending it doesn’t hurt; it’s about not losing yourself to things (or people) you can’t control. It’s the most tender kind of boundary. One that says: “I’m not going to beg you to stay. I’m going to choose me.”
Letting Go Isn’t Weakness. It’s Wisdom
I used to equate holding on tightly with being loyal. That if I loved someone enough, or showed up enough, they’d meet me halfway.
But real love, real connection?
You don’t have to twist yourself into knots for it.
Letting go doesn’t mean you’re bitter.
It means you’ve finally learned that peace > performance.
Signs It Might Be Time to Let Them
- You feel like you’re the only one making an effort
- You’re constantly confused about where you stand
- You tiptoe around their moods
- You overthink every word you say
- You feel emotionally drained after each interaction
If that feels too familiar… maybe it’s time to try something softer, but braver: let them.
Journal Prompts to Come Home to Yourself
These aren’t for judgment, just for gentle clarity:
- Who have I been trying to hold onto, even when it’s costing me peace?
- What would happen if I stopped trying to manage everything?
- What does it look like to let people be who they are, and still protect my energy?
Merging the Book With My Own Journey
Mel’s book helped me name something I had already started living.
In the podcast, I open up about personal moments when I didn’t let them, and the peace I found when I finally did.
I’m not here to preach. Just to share.
If this resonates, maybe hit play on the episode and let it keep you company.
🎧 Listen to the full podcast episode:
The Let Them Theory | XP & Oxygen Podcast
📱 Follow for more reflections and slow-living content: @xpandoxygen on IG & TikTok
📚 Inspired by “The Let Them Theory” by Mel Robbins — a gentle but powerful guide to emotional boundaries and self-trust.
Get it here: https://amzn.to/4euXrky
